So, you're starting university, and you're absolutely terrified about the unknown.
You get the invites to 2000 parties hosted by societies you half-drunkenly signed up to on the Fresher's Fair. And, through all the anxiousness, you manage to find yourself at one of them. What's the worst that could happen, right? Well...
- Being the first to arrive at the party. And then you just have to stand there. On your own. Top tip - 10pm always means 11. At least.
- Sitting in awkwardly and silently on conversations you literally have nothing to contribute to. "So then I said, that's not the Gobe desert Sharon, that's the Sahara desert" *insert simultaneous fake laugh and eye roll here* Dire.
- Finally mustering up the courage to say something, 20 minutes after the conversation ended. NAILED IT. Shame about the 20 minutes of pure overthinking though.
- When that one really cool and confident person arrives. They walk in, hair blowing in a non-existent breeze, glitter magically falling around them and the whole room lights up. In that moment you decide it necessary to model your entire life after them.
- Being friendly will get misconstrued as flirting. You know things are going bad if you have to pull out the "it's not you, it's me" card within 5 minutes of meeting someone.
- Timing your laughter to coincide with everyone else's when you've zoned out of the conversation. Don't worry - they're definitely not laughing at you... right?
- You savor one-on-one time to form real friendships. But, suddenly, you forget how to even speak and the only thing the other person can muster up is "nice weather we're having". It's raining.
- When someone says something you wholeheartedly disagree with, but you couldn't possible say. "No Sharon, I'm sorry, but Celebrity Big Brother is nothing without Kim Woodburn" - god forbid.
- Something awkward happens between you and your new friend and you decide to make a joke of it. And guess what kiddo? It's too soon. And now you're in the doghouse. 10/10.
- Despite having spent the week hanging out - you'll forget your friend's name. "Wait, so your name isn't Sharon!?"